Lupin's Stories
by musikgurl
Summary: ‘You see! She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!’, ‘But I don’t care either, I don’t care!’ - How Tonks and Lupin's love came to be...
1. Chapter 1

**Lupin's Story**

**Sometime between the 5****th**** and 6****th**** Harry Potter's**

'Well I'm off to bed all.' said Molly cheerfully. She looked over at the pile of dishes that needed to be done.

'Don't worry Molly, we'll take care of that,' Remus said smiling.

'Alright then, night.'

'Night Molly,' said Tonks. Remus simply smiled. He suddenly regretted offering to clean up. This left him alone with Tonks, and it was beginning to really show how uncomfortable they were to be alone with each other. After several minutes of silence, Remus said,

'Should we start cleaning all this up?'

Tonks looked baffled by this and stumbled 'Oh-yeh-er,' in reply.

Remus didn't dare look at Tonks while they cleaned. He would not give himself the chance to give into temptation. They wiped, washed and cleaned without magic and Remus saw an empty bottle on the bench beside the sink. He went to grab it, as did Tonks and he felt their hands touch. James had once told him, that when he touched Lily's hand, it seemed like time had stopped, and they were the only two people in the world. At the time Remus thought it was absolute nonsense, but now it made complete sense to him. When he remembered what he was doing, he pulled his hand away and continued to wipe. He should never have let himself be alone with Tonks. If he was going to get over, whatever this was, he was going to have to keep a distance between them. Remus was still thinking about this when Tonks broke the long silence.

'Have you ever been in love before?'

Stumbled, Remus abruptly stopped cleaning, and turned to look at her. If he had smiled the moment would have been less awkward, but he couldn't even force one. So they just stared at each other and Remus thought about her question. He wasn't even sure of the answer. He turned back to the sink and said rather quietly, 'Once.' He wished he hadn't of said that. He didn't even know if it was true. All he knew was that he'd never felt like this in his life.

'_You have to stop thinking like that!' _he told himself.

'How do you know...' asked Tonks still looking at him.

He stopped cleaning and looked at her again. Why did she have to ask him this? He did not even know what to answer but his mouth started moving before his mind had time to catch up.

'I think, it's just one of those things,' He said. 'When you look at this person, you see happiness, love, everything you could possibly want in the world, and... you just know...'

The next few seconds seem to go tremendously fast, and extremely slow, all at the same time.

Tonks seemed to move herself closer to Remus and he did not stop her. They both leaned in closer to each other, and again, he did not stop her (or himself). It was the closest he had ever been to Tonks and he could feel her breath on his face, and he did not stop. He closed his eyes and swore he could feel Tonks' lips on his own, when, he stopped it. He immediately drew himself away from Tonks as if she had some sort of illness, when in fact; he was the one with disease. He turned around and, bumping into the benches and seeing quite a few of Molly's plates and cutlery fall to the ground, he head toward the door.

'Remus...' he heard Tonks say. Disregarding this, he grabbed his coat and walked straight out of the room. Hearing the door crash behind him, he did not look back, no matter how much he wanted to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lupin's Story**

**Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – Page 582**

As soon as Molly and Fleur hugged, the room seemed to breathe a bit easier, all except for Remus and Tonks. He knew what was coming and did not want to explain himself again, rather, that he had nowhere to hide this time.

'You see!' said Tonks glaring at Remus. He did not lift his eyes to meet her face. 'She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!'

'It's different,' said Remus, if possible, more tense than before. 'Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely –'

'But I don't care either, I don't care!' said Tonks, grabbing the front of Remus' robes and shaking them. 'I've told you a million times...'

'And I've told _you _a million times,' said he, moving her hands away from him, 'that I am too old for you, too poor ... too dangerous ...'

'I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,' said Molly, who was still comforting Fleur.

'I am not being ridiculous,' said Remus, steadily, knowing that he was out-numbered. 'Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.'

These words were true, truer than Remus could ever imagine. Being with Tonks would make her an outcast, in danger of him. He could not ruin Tonks' life like that. He _wouldn't_. It would be too selfish.

'But she wants you,' said Arthur, slightly smiling. 'And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.' He gestured sadly at Bill, lying on a bed between them.

'This is ... not the moment to discuss it,' said Remus, avoiding everybody's face's, especially Tonks'. 'Dumbledore is dead ...'

'Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think there was a little more love in the world' said Minerva suddenly.

Remus knew she was right. He knew it, but it was not that simple. He could never give Tonks everything she deserved; he had nothing of value. He was thirteen years older than her, had very little money, and more importantly, he was unsafe. He would never be able to live with himself if he hurt Tonks. She meant more to him than anyone and he longed to be with her, but it was not that easy, no matter how much others thought it was. Remus fought within himself, barely listening to what was going on around him. He knew Tonks would be doing the same, and when he looked up to see Harry and Minerva gone and the whole room staring at him, he could not take it anymore. He stood up and quickly left the Hospital Wing. He went down too many a stairs to count, wanting nothing but to get away. He heard someone call his name behind him and knew it would be Tonks, so he did not stop. He kept walking rather quickly until he stepped onto the grounds he knew too well. Hogwarts was the only place he'd ever been free of judgment and prejudice. It was the only place he'd ever been truly happy. Except, when he was with Tonks.

'Remus -' said the strained voice of Tonks from behind him.

'I can't do it!' said Remus turning around to face her, 'I cannot do it to you! I will not burden you with what I am!' He stood and stared at her. She had to understand, it wasn't what he wanted. No, it was not what he wanted, but it didn't matter what he wanted, it was about what's best; best for Tonks. Remus looked into her eyes hoping desperately that she understood. She looked back at him with her muddy brown hair; he longed for it to be pink again.

'Remus, I don't love you because of what you are,' Tonks said earnestly. Remus looked at the ground, not wanting to hear her say this. She came closer to him and lifted his face to see her's. 'It's who you are.' she said, before turning to walk away. Remus watched Tonks walk away unable to move until suddenly, he did. He didn't know what had gotten hold of him, and really, he didn't care. He walked briskly after her, trying hard not to let his mind get in the way. He broke out into almost a jog when he caught up to her.

'Tonks...'

'What?' she said quite angrily, turning around.

Before he knew what he was doing, before he had even thought it through, he grabbed Tonks' hand, pulled her towards him and kissed her. Suddenly, every piece of the puzzle that was his life fell into place, and he held her tighter, never wanting to let go. She put her arms around his neck, and kissed him back. The last year flashed before his eyes and he suddenly realised how ridiculous he had been. They finally broke apart, but still unable to let each other go, they rested their heads together.

'I'm sorry...' whispered Remus, feeling happier than he'd ever been, but stupid and idiotic at the same time.

'Nothing to forgive...' Tonks whispered back, and as Remus truly looked at her, he saw her hair; amazingly pink.


	3. Chapter 3

**Lupin's Story**

**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Page 68**

He felt more ill then he ever had after transformations. The atmosphere was tense around him, but Remus didn't think about that. All he could think about was Tonks. She should've been back by now. What if she was hurt, or worst?

Remus stopped himself going any further on that thought. He turned to face George to distract himself, when suddenly; Hermione screamed 'It's them!'

Remus moved faster than the others, and saw Tonks and Ron and the broom skidding along the gravel. Tonks staggered off the stick and cried 'Remus!' before falling into him. He was unable to say anything; all he could do was hold her and breath once again, because he had Tonks safe in his arms.

**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Sometime after Lupin and Harry argue at Grimmauld Place**

Remus stormed down to the Leaky Cauldron - as he had nowhere else to go – and ordered the biggest goblet of Firewhisky available. As he drank, all he could think about was what Harry said.

'_I'd be pretty ashamed of him...'_

'_My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?...'_

'_The man who taught me to fight Dementors – a coward.'_

With every sip he drank, the words pulsed in his head. He couldn't believe how he had been on top of the world at the start of the summer, and now, he felt as though he had sunk to the very floor of the deepest ocean. He knew what he had to do. He stood up, left a galleon beside his half empty goblet, and left the bar. He walked for what felt like days and as the rain poured down, he saw what he had been looking for. He went straight through the gate and walked around the backyard until he could see her through the glass sliding door. She was sitting, flipping pages of the _Daily Prophet _vigorously. She appeared to have changed since he last saw her, which had only been a month ago, but was too long. She threw the _Daily Prophet_ to the floor angrily, and stared at the wall in front of her. Suddenly, she turned her face to the right and saw him. She stared at him for several minutes and he stared back. The gap between felt bigger than ever before, and for the first time since being with Tonks, he didn't know if that gap could be closed. Slowly, Tonks got to her feet and slide the door open. Remus stood there in the rain, not being able to, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, Tonks began to quickly step toward him and he began to walk forward too. Never taking their eyes off each other, Remus grabbed Tonks when she was close enough and kissed her. They did not separate for quite a few minutes. Then they broke away and looked at each other and Remus saw a tear escape Tonks' eye, but she was smiling. He lifted his hand gently to wipe the tear off her cheek and he smiled back at her. Then she hugged him, resting her head against his shoulder, and everything that had happened before, seemed to leave him completely. Keeping one hand around Tonks as they walked into the dry house, Remus put his hand on Tonks' stomach, and even though the baby was too small to kick or anything, he felt it there and smiled. Tonks looked at him and he knew inside of her, she was dying to say 'I told you so!', but she just smiled. Tonks had said when she first fell pregnant that he was going to be a great dad. Remus wasn't so sure, but all he knew, was that he was going to be a father. And that made him smile wider than ever before.


End file.
